Grief and Loss: 10 Devastating Truths You May Encounter

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are approaching and unfortunately some of us are experiencing the feelings of grief and loss that come with it.

With the summer holidays rolling around, that summertime sadness may start to kick in. Not as melodic as a Lana Del Rey song.

This list will apply to all of us at one time or another, especially if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. But also if you’ve lost a job or just grieving the life you thought you’d have by now. And of course it’s always nice to know we’re not alone in experiencing these things.

For me, Summer 2023 will make a year since I lost my grandfather. And with grief and loss, we learn some tough lessons about others and ourselves. My hope is that this list will help you feel less alone and give you more clarity.

Grief and Loss Encounters

1. You’ll get grief depression. For Obvious reasons. But mainly because you will feel all your feelings all at once. It’s like a cloud hovering over you.
2. You’ll over or undereat. Just a side effect of coping with grief depression.
3. The dynamic of your relationships may change. Death and grief makes people uncomfortable. Although it may not be intentional, some people tend to become dismissive with people suffering from grief and loss. Not because you’re doing something wrong or dragging it out, but because the whole thing makes them uncomfortable. It’s easier to just tell someone you’ll pray for them than it is to sit with them in their pain.
4. You’ll try to grab at anything to distract you. Toxic exes, because you want to feel distracted by doses of false attention. Substances to numb the pain. Overdoing it at the gym or even with ministry. Anything to distract you from sitting in your feels.
5. Nighttime is the hardest. Something about the dark and stillness of nighttime makes it the hardest. It’s most likely when you have nowhere to be and not much to do. So you’re left alone with your thoughts.

Encounters 5-6

1. You’ll learn the importance of grace. For yourself and others around you. Everyone deals with grief differently. Some have misplaced anger while others go silent. Everyone is struggling, including you. Projection is common when grieving, so don’t take things too personally.
2. God didn’t take his hand off of you. It’s easy to feel punished and far away from God during times of grief. But I think that’s just because we automatically go in defense or shame mode when something traumatizing happens to us. And both cause us to hang our head low in the presence of God because we feel like we’ve disappointed him.
3. It’s a loophole of sadness and loneliness. One day you’ll feel yourself getting better, then the next you’re crocodile tear crying in the bathroom at work.
4. You’ll see a completely different version of your family and friends. Mostly aimed at when there’s a death in the family. For lack of a better way to say this, you will see your family show their ass. There may be disputes about money and decisions. Overall, any toxicity will come out in the most unhealthy ways. You’ll see who has some harboring resentment towards one another. You’ll see who is genuine and who is messy. The family scapegoat will come out, right along with family secrets. It all comes out. Prepare yourself. This almost overshadowed the fact that I had lost someone.
5. You will realize that life is short and you’re not so invincible after all. Life is like a vapor bestie. Here one minute and gone the next. Maximize the life that you have next and trust God with the rest. Also Read: Trusting God’s Vision For Our Life When It’s Scary