Moment of transparency: I absolutely cringe at the idea of starting over or starting from scratch.
Maybe you’re like me and the uncertainty and newness makes you feel anxious, even fearful.
But allowing the fear of starting over can really do more harm than anything. When I was in a very toxic relationship, I stayed longer than I should have because of the fear of starting over with someone else.
But in order to step into the new that starting over creates, you have to actually start.
So here I am, starting.
In The Beginning..
Except this isn’t the first time I’ve started a blog. Some of you may remember my blog “Thestylelush” and shortly after that, I changed the name to LahariLookbook. Immediately after that, I ghosted my blog and traded it in for a big girl job and a messy, crazy, big girl life.
By fate and faith, I ended up right back where I left off. You know the saying—what is meant to be will find it’s way back. My love for blogging and content creating never left. It was always there. In between jobs, in between figuring life out in my 20s and learning myself and my passions all over again. There was always an elbow nudge from God and a gut feeling in my belly; I was just anxiously waiting for a clear sign. But I decided to face my fears and start my blog all over again.
Beginning Again..
And I mean really start from scratch. I had to learn how to use WordPress instead of the hosting site that I used before. Plug ins were foreign to me, and I had no idea what anything on the dashboard was for. And in the first two weeks I didn’t even know that I had to hit publish every time I wanted to save my changes. I would literally spend hours working on the design of my blog, just to come back the next day and feel defeated because I didn’t save it.
Two weeks yall. This happened for two weeks before I finally reached out for guidance.
Eventually I learned my lessons and I’m glad I did because now I get to share my mistakes.
There is a false narrative that starting over means you are starting from absolutely nothing. But I had to completely tackle that narrative and I found that I wasn’t starting from scratch at all. It may feel like I am because I had to learn how to blog on a new platform and because I had to navigate through new waters. But instead of saying that I’m starting from scratch, I’d rather say this is the sequel.
The Sequel..
That’s the thing about starting over, you’re starting with past knowledge and experience. No matter how murky the waters ahead of you may look. Although it seems like you are going into new territory, it’s actually very familiar turf because of prior wisdom. And you have to have faith in God’s ability to guide you in the new. Just like He gave you guidance in the past, trust that He is still the same God as before.
Don’t allow the fear of starting over to intimidate you or keep you from having a voice. Oftentimes we despise beginning again because we’re struggling with the idea of what will people say or think. Whether it’s starting over after a divorce, stepping into a new career path, trying to have a baby after failed attempts or even a miscarriage; don’t be afraid to start again. Because you’re not starting from scratch. You’re beginning again from the version of you that led you up to this very moment.
There is a testimony in the struggle, always. I like to think of it as seed in the ground. And from that seed, you will reap a harvest. So don’t be afraid to re-brand, start over or let others see your struggle.
Xoxo,
Rickeshia
